We’re back (from parler), we’re older (we aged poorly), we’re smarter (smarter is a relative term), and we’re wiser (we got lobotomies).

Welcome to the most anticipated rebranding of July 21, 2021!

Remember the Canafornians? You do? That’s us! Everyone was always like “what happened to the Canafornians? We want the Canafornians!” Well we had a team retreat in the woods and it turns out it lasted for four years? If you don’t remember us, you’re probably like 24 and we don’t like you. We used to crack wise and make lists about which San Jose looked like actual people named Jose, and also created an entire hockey team out of NHL players who look like Tilda Swinton. Stick around, because we’ll put some of the archives up here if our new friends at Angelfire let us do it.

We are here to talk to you about Sports and also to put Angelfire.com back on the map. It is our goal to humor you, move you and to become the most popular page on Angelfire.com. We have some pretty tough competition around these parts and MOST of it is fanfiction. A lot of Buffy/Angel, a fair amount of Starfox (naturally), Megaman(?) and of course, The Beatles. Who hasn’t thought about George, John, Paul & Ringo giving each other sensual back rubs on the yellow submarine?

Anyway, with the relocation of the Fornians part of the group, it is with my deepest regrets that I inform you that the San Jose Sharks have died. The only thing holding that sad ass franchise together moved to Seattle and never looked back. Thankfully, the world was not ready to live a life without the stylings of @stace_ofbase and decided pretty quickly after to expand a very unpopular sport to 32 teams. 

When the decision was made to return to the public eye, there were many things to consider---how, when & why we were going to do it.

HOW: We are going to pay approximately 3 dollars per month for a page on Angelfire. Can we write on here? Yes. Can we post pictures on here? Barely. Can we post videos on here?

Lol

WHEN: We were going to do it forever ago, but we got really lazy. & we recently had the conversation of: “oh hey, when is the expansion draft?” “oh shit, it’s in two weeks”

WHY: We started working on doing this during the pandemic because we were bored. 

It was actually a fantastic journey that we were on to get ourselves on Angelfire.com. There were a lot of issues and mostly on trying to figure out how to embed videos, if we can post gifs, etc. We tried to contact Angelfire.com’s customer service via email and it turns out that nobody runs it nor have they run it in several years. We eventually said fuck it, this place is perfect as is. Maybe if we ~Break The Internet~ with our new page, Angelfire.com customer service will actually reply to us. Or our site will just cause the actual full on internet to break. Anyway, Angelfire.com. 

We are setting out with the goal of writing about the Flames, Kraken and the Oilers but we cannot promise you this. It’ll just basically be Floob & Stace fighting over who gets to write about the Oilers & Jeanshorts slowly just dying on the inside as he gets to watch 25:30 TOI of a Duncan Keith/Kris Russell pairing. Speaking of Jeanshorts, if anyone sees him can you let him know we have started a new page? He won’t return our calls.